


Honestly

by Scotch



Series: Avengers Oneshots [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Bondage, Protective Thor, Slash, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor Is a Good Bro, Thorki - Freeform, Torture, Violence, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:14:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1378603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotch/pseuds/Scotch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki hates Thor. In a life where nothing can ever be certain, Loki knows this to be the one truth that he can always depend on. …Or is it? What if it isn't only hatred and envy that has clawed at Loki's heart for so long?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honestly

**Author's Note:**

> Movieverse set post avengers but before Thor 2, and not at all compliant with it. (I wrote this before I saw it)
> 
> Based very loosely on the song "Honestly" by Kelly Clarkson. May be little bit OOC.

All I see are stepford-like lives

Needles and knives, beautiful lies

Bringing out the green in your eyes

Perfect disguise for envy and pride

Would you face me?

Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me

Judge me, love me

If you're hating me, do it honestly

~ From "Honestly" By Kelly Clarkson

* * *

**Honestly**

* * *

He looked down at the chains on wrists with a maniacal grin on his face. There were deep red welts there from where the heavy iron manacles had pulled at his skin. It was all so _funny,_ really. He had long since accepted the fact that the throne of Asgard would never be his. Earth, on the other hand, had been ripe for the taking. Yet, in spite of all his preparations and the Chitauri army under his command, he was dealt an overwhelming and humiliating defeat.

"There is no version of this where you come out on top." He whispered bitterly to the otherwise empty dungeon as he recalled Tony Stark's almost sarcastic remarks before they fought in New York – before he threw the man of Iron through the window of his own home. _Home? More like a monument to his gargantuan ego._ The God of mischief threw back his head and laughed hysterically. The sound was oddly hollow as it echoed forlornly in the stiflingly silent dungeon. Yes, it was _funny._ Especially when he had thrown Stark through the window, it was all worth it for that – particularly after his comment about "performance issues". It wasn't Stark that Loki blamed; he didn't even hate the foolish mortal. If anything, Stark reminded him of himself - Vain, narcissistic, a genius and an elitist. Loki had even hoped to kill him last, or possibly find some other way to take control of his mind and make him a more… personal slave. No. He did not blame Stark. Not even the giant green beast or Captain Spangles. The one Loki blamed for his failures, his misery and ultimately everything that had ever gone wrong for him was _Thor._ The "Avengers" were just insignificant pests doing their supposed jobs. Thor had meddled in an affair that wholly did not concern him.

Of course it was Thor that Loki despised above all else. Living in the shadow of his greatness, how could he have ever even hoped to outshine him? He was the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard, and he would have it one day! They couldn't keep him in the dungeons forever, and when they released him there would be hell to pay. Odin and Thor would be made to see the error of their ways, but not before he destroyed everything they loved and made them watch as he did it. Again, Loki fell into hysterics, laughing so hard that he fell over and rolled on the floor with the side of his face resting against the dusty stone surface. His chains made a tinkling sound as they dragged across the stone beneath him. They would get their day. All of Asgard would get its day and it would be ground to dust under the toe of his boot. Yes, he hated Thor and he always would. Nothing could change that; it was the one certainty in his existence.

"Brother?" Loki's laughter died on his lips and his grin turned into a malevolent sneer. His green eyes that had since lost their shine darted to the bars between him and freedom. _Freedom._ Life's greatest lie. Even for a God. Thor stood on the other side with his hands wrapped tightly around two of the offending rusted metal bars. He was dressed as usual in that garish red cape with Mjolnir hanging from his waist. The God of thunder's face was a mask of concern and worry. _Lies._ Why would he care? Why would he worry? Did the princeling of Asgard have nothing better to do than come into the dungeons and feign pity for his mentally insane adopted brother? Surely they thought him to be an invalid by now… What with his fits of laughter and thrashing about like a beast in chains. _But it is less painful to laugh than it is crawl into that corner and weep._ And sometimes Loki wanted so _badly_ to cry, but he would not give the guards the satisfaction of a breakdown. "I worry about you. If you just agreed to make amends for what you have done you could be released." Thor said, his voice full of pity. Loki rolled his eyes theatrically and put on a show of looking perfectly comfortable where he was chained to the rough stone floor with a bit of frayed burlap to sleep on.

"Oh but I do _love_ it here. The decor could use some improvement, but it's really rather quaint." Loki replied, the words dripping with venom. "If you want to release me so badly, then do it. After all – _you_ put me here, my dear brother."

"I hope one day you can be the Loki I remember and not the monster you have become." Thor retorted, hurt in his voice. The monster he'd become? But he was always a monster. Wasn't he? Loki ignored Thor completely as he left, his footsteps echoing loudly in the dungeon. For a fraction of a second, he regretted his harsh words. He felt an odd twinge in his heart and stared somewhat brokenly at the space that Thor had vacated. Angrily, he curled up on the bit of burlap bedding and wondered how he would get through the next whipping that would be coming shortly. So far he had not shown the slightest hint of weakness, but he wondered how much longer his pride would last before the guards got tired of playing with him and got serious. He knew what happened in these dungeons. He had been on the other side, laughing along as he helped torture some poor sod nearly to death. It had been one of his favorite pastimes once. Of course his "family" had never known of that particular hobby. Dejectedly Loki rubbed at the painful welts on his wrists. It was all some kind of sick poetic justice, really. The thought of breaking down and putting on a show of being a sobbing mess and vowing to repent for his crimes just to be released crossed his mind. After all, how could they really force him to do anything? He would be gone like smoke on the wind and not even Heimdall would be able to find him.

* * *

Loki walked with his head down, his smile firmly in place as he was marched to the center of the dungeons where the torturer waited. He tried to ignore the bloodstains on the stones beneath his bare, blistered feet. They were fresh and the air reeked of sweat, testosterone and rotten blood. He did not look up as the guards lifted him and hung him from large rusted iron hooks on the ceiling by the manacles around his wrists. He grunted slightly as the cold metal dug further into the welts that had been left over from the previous day's beating. His feet did not reach the ground, so all of his body's weight was supported by his thin wrists that felt as though they would break like fragile twigs at any second. Still grinning, Loki looked up. He would not show them weakness. Weakness was for children and cowards who lacked conviction. Coulson was wrong when he said that he no conviction. So _very_ wrong… But his face fell as he saw not the torturer standing in front of him, but Thor. His expression was that of resignation and purpose. He held in his hands a whip made of supple leather dyed a dark shade of green. _How appropriate._ Loki swallowed hard. This could not be good. He removed his cape and threw it over the back of a chair near him.

"Brother." Thor said cordially. "I have requested privacy. It is just the two of us. I realized that I cannot reason with you, so I am going to beat the truth out of you instead." He added menacingly and touched the whip to Loki's cheek. He trembled slightly, but not entirely from fear. He could handle anything the guards threw at him, so what could Thor possibly do that was worse? Perhaps he might even _enjoy_ this. After all, he did enjoy a good bit of whipping in the right… situation. However, those fantasies usually did _not_ include the dungeons of Asgard or his detestable "brother".

"The truth? About what? Why I attacked Earth? You know why I did that." Loki spat. Thor's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You will speak only when given permission." Thor said calmly and brought the whip down across Loki's bare chest. Time seemed to stand still as it tore through the air and cracked loudly in the empty chamber. Loki cried out more in surprise than pain as the strike fell. He had _actually_ whipped him. He had always figured Thor to be far too humanitarian to do such a thing. "Do not make me remind you again. Understood?" He added firmly.

"Understood." Loki responded in an even tone and tried to shake a few misbehaving strands of raven hair out of his dirt-streaked face. _Well, that was interesting._ Suddenly, Loki was not entirely sure he liked where this was going.

"Do you hate me?" Thor inquired suddenly, with no trace of emotion in his voice. "Answer!" He shouted when Loki stared at him, balefully but did not reply.

"Really? You _really_ need to ask that? Of course I do! You took everything from me! Did you really think otherwise? If you did, you are a fool, _brother._ " Loki replied, spitting out the word "brother" like it was poisonous. "Do not try to pretend that I care for you. What I did – tried to do – on earth was revenge. I wanted to destroy everything you loved. Just like when you took the throne of Asgard from me."

" _Liar._ " Thor hissed and whipped him several times across the back. This time, and for the first time since he had been thrown into the dungeons, Loki screamed in real pain. How did Thor learn to do this? His brother might have been the first person to strike first and ask questions later, but this was not in Thor's nature. Loki panted and tried to regain his composure as the room swam before his eyes. But all he could see were the splatters of dried blood caked on the floor that shimmered and contorted in his blurred vision. There was something wet and warm dripping down his back from where Thor had whipped him. His ragged breath began to even and his eyes found Thor leaning casually against the blood-stained rack nearby. "You didn't do it for revenge, you did for attention." Thor told Loki firmly.

"Attention…?" Loki breathed and shook his head in confusion. Thor moved closer and took a handful of Loki's dark, matted hair in his fist none too gently.

"Yes, because you can't admit to yourself that you _love_ me." Thor whispered in his ear and pulled his hair hard. The God of mischief whimpered weakly and made a fruitless attempt to pull away from him. "You do hate me, though. As much as you love me." Thor continued and smacked Loki hard across his back with the whip which was folded up in his hand. Again, Loki cried in pain and panic began to set in when he saw the blood – his blood – on Thor's hand. _This is wrong._ It had to be. Thor would not do this. As much as he hated Thor, and as much reason as Thor certainly had to give Loki a good beating – Thor would _never_ do this to him.

"…I… Really… Hate you." Loki muttered and glared, daring him to keep up the punishment. He could take it. He was not so weak as to be beaten by _Thor_. "Honestly hate…you." Thor snorted derisively and punched him hard in the face. Loki spat blood on the floor at Thor's feet and smiled wickedly. His defiance would cost him dearly, however as Thor took up the whip and lashed him even harder than before. Everything exploded in a torrent of pain as Loki felt not only the keen sting of the whip but his own blood dripping down his back and legs. There had to be some kind of metal in the whip to break his skin so easily. Thor did not let up and Loki felt something snap inside of him and every bit of resistance fell to pieces around him like glass striking the floor.

"Stop! Stop!" Loki begged hoarsely. "I said STOP!" He howled in abandon, tears streaming down his face. But Thor did not stop. The _pain_. He _had_ to escape it. But he couldn't move.

"I will stop when you remember that you are not alone in this world and cease seeing the need to play the victim!" Thor replied angrily. "I refuse to give up on you!"

"No! Stop! ENOUGH!" Loki shouted and suddenly, there was no more pain though he swore he could still feel the keen sting on the whip on his bare skin. Nor was Thor there. He lying face down in his cell in a puddle of his own tears, his entire body trembling. His breath came in ragged gasps as he remembered where he was. _A nightmare._ Reason returned to him slowly and he sat up, wiping tears from his face unceremoniously. _You did it for attention. You love me as much as you hate me._ Loki choked on a sob and finally gave in as he fell limply against the wall beside him and let the tears take over. Quickly, he made a failing attempt at controlling himself as he heard footsteps approaching. He swallowed nervously past the lump his throat as the two guards that took him for his daily whipping unlocked the door.

"No! I want to speak with my brother! Bring him here! Now!" Loki begged, scooting himself as far into the corner away from them as his chains would allow. His whole body was shaking with dread. There was no way he would survive another session in the torture room. Not in this vulnerable state of mind at least. The guards exchanged a glance and left without a word, locking the door behind them. Loki waited what felt like an eternity, the occasional uncontrollable wave of misery overcoming him as he wondered why they hadn't just dragged him in spite of his protests. In the silence, his own heartbeat and erratic breathing were nearly deafening.

"Brother, Loki? You sent for me?" He finally heard Thor's voice, and flinched involuntarily. Shakily, he looked up at his brother, his eyes darted to his hands, nervously searching for the whip, but he had only Mjolnir as he always did. Loki slumped back against the wall and heaved a sigh of relief. _Just a dream. But it was all true, wasn't it?_ Loki was nothing if not a masochist living in eternal denial. "What happened? Have the guards hurt you? Loki! Answer me!" He demanded, very real worry written across his kind face. _You love me._

"Have you given up on me?" Loki whispered finally, looking up into Thor's eyes pleadingly. For a moment he wondered if Thor somehow didn't know that he was being tortured. But he would have to right? Everyone knew what they did in these dungeons. Just because Loki was a fallen prince did not make him exempt from torture.

"I will _never_ give up on you." Thor replied. There was genuine concern and unmistakable honesty in those words.

"I love you." Loki mumbled, only loud enough for Thor to hear and not the two guards that he could tell were still standing nearby. "As much as I hate you. But I love you. I did it all for your attention. New York… Even before all of this even began. I…I realize that now. Please… If you hate me after all of this, at least tell me. Do not lie to me and pretend you care to try and save me from myself." A sentiment as useless as it was noble. Of course it would appeal to Thor. Thor turned away without a reply, and Loki felt the weight of the universe crashing down upon him. If even he had given up, then what hope was there? Loki looked up miserably, feeling nauseous even though he hadn't eaten in days as the two guards who normally were in charge of his torture entered his cell. Resignedly, he closed his eyes. But the guards did not drag him to his feet, they unlocked his shackles and Loki stared numbly as they fell to the floor with a loud metallic clatter. He watched in a state of shock as the guards bowed to Thor and went on their way. Loki swallowed hard as Thor approached and pulled him into a tight embrace. Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming sense of security. Everything was going to be fine. He was safe now. He melted against Thor and buried his dirty, tear-stained face in his shoulder. And he cried. Cried like a pathetic, scared and broken child.

"I could never hate you. If I hate anyone it's our father, for what he did to you – raising you under the pretense of love when all he desired was to use you. No one should be at all surprised that you figured that out and lashed out against him, and me. I only wish I had understood it sooner. …Before it was too late for that." Thor told him softly. "You always were the smartest one here. Father should have known better." Loki smiled ruefully as he felt the tiniest flutter of pride in his chest. Somehow, Thor admitting that one simple thing was like winning a battle all on its own. Thor had said something about Odin that was not mindless praise. What was the universe coming too? Perhaps he was right, though. He had detested Odin for adopting him and passively teaching to hate himself and his true heritage all the while dangling the throne of Asgard in front of his nose like he was a starving beast being tempted with a juicy piece of meat. But he always directed his anger at Thor. And why not? Thor was Odin's son. He had everything and wanted for nothing, while Loki was utterly alone. But he wasn't. _Thor was there all along._ And he had protected him all along.

"Thank you for always being by my side. Even if I did not see it." Loki whispered, finally beginning to calm down.

"Loki, what if we shared the throne of Asgard? If we ruled together?" Thor said suddenly.

"I would like that very much." Loki answered, tears of a different sort welling up in his eyes. "But _father_ will not."

"I do not care." Thor snorted and dragged Loki to his feet. All the protests in the world would not have saved Loki from being bodily thrown over Thor's shoulder and carried all the way to his rooms. He buried his face in Thor's golden hair to avoid having to see the all the awkward glances of the people on the way. It did nothing to muffle the occasional giggle or snide remark, however. He would never live this down. If he did some day share the throne with Thor, it would be all he heard for years. _So do you guys remember that time Thor carried Loki out of the dungeons half naked and filthy? I sure do._ Loki thought somewhat pessimistically as Thor unceremoniously dumped him onto his bed in a heap.

"I do hope you treat your women more gently." Loki muttered mutinously and dragged himself into a sitting position. "Why not take me to my rooms?"

"I will get you some food. Or would you prefer beer? It looks like you could really use some beer." Thor said, trying to sound lighthearted and completely avoiding the question. Loki gave him a sideways glance and thought better of saying something about Thor's drinking habits that he would probably regret later.

"Just a bath. I am filthy." Loki replied tiredly. … _Filthy indeed. In more ways than one._ He added mentally, though no amount of soap and hot water would scrub off the grime of his heritage or the crimes he had committed. Thinking quickly, he wrapped himself in Thor's blanket. It would not do for him to notice the bruises and the angry red welts from the manacles and the whippings. Really, it was surprising he hadn't noticed. But Thor never was one for observation. …And Loki really was very dirty. Thor made a noncommittal sound and left to have servants bring Loki clothes and whatever else he would need. Loki half dragged himself to bathroom once Thor left.

For the better part of two hours, Loki remained in the bath. He scrubbed his skin nearly raw but as expected, he still felt foul – like nothing could get the dirt off. He thought vaguely of the Shakespeare play "Macbeth" that he read while waiting for his thralls to finish their work on the Tesseract. No matter what, Lady Macbeth could not wash the blood from her hands. How much like that he felt at that moment. Nothing would get rid of the dirt and the metaphorical blood. _Nothing._ He could make amends, and he did honestly intend to try, but nothing would erase what he had done.

"Bother Loki! I brought you some clean clothes and – " Thor burst into to the room, all sunshine and happiness as usual with zero respect for a closed door.

"No – Out!" Loki squeaked and sank beneath bubbly surface of the water. It was far from the first time Thor would have seen him naked, but he did not want Thor to see the marks from his torture. …Or the scars that were left over from his ill-fated fight atop Stark tower with a certain giant green rage monster. Thor's forgiveness he could teach himself to accept and possibly embrace – but he did not want his pity. He was not a child.

"- Some wine. The best vintage we have according to the ladies in the kitchens." Thor continued, ignoring him completely. "I was beginning to think you drowned yourself in here or some such. You must be dirtier than I thought, brother." He said mostly to himself and placed the pile of neatly folded clothes on a small bench by the side of the bath. Much to Loki's chagrin and annoyance, Thor also sat on the bench and eyed him warily.

"Thank you." Loki said in a tone that quite plainly suggested that he wanted to be left alone. But alas subtlety, or noticing the usage of such tactics, was far from being the God of Thunder's strong suit.

"Anyway. I was thinking of speaking to father on your behalf. I was quite serious about us ruling Asgard together when that day comes. As long as you behave yourself, everything should be fine. Maybe. He is furious that I released you from prison, but I cannot abide by it any longer." Thor prattled on. Loki glared at him, not moving. _Why would he not just leave_?  "What are you being so shy about, little brother? It is not as though I have not seen you without your clothes on before." Thor added in an obliviously cheerful tone. Loki mumbled a string of rather creative curses under his breath and exposed himself to Thor. As expected, Thor did not react well to the sight of all the bruises and scars on Loki's pale skin that looked all the redder from soaking in the hot water for so long.

"They WHIPPED you?" He shouted, flying to his feet, his eyes bulging.

"It is a dungeon. They do that sort of th –" Loki began, but was cut off by Thor's shouting.

"UNACCEPTABLE!" He roared and tore out of the bathroom. "I will fetch a healer immediately!" Loki heard him add as he thundered out of his rooms, slamming the door behind him. Loki sighed and shook his head. It was high time he got out of the bath anyway. The nightmare of Thor torturing to him seemed even more alien now, although the message was still absolutely true. He was impulsive, sometimes ignorant and most certainly naïve – but Thor would never harm someone who was not in a position to at least attempt to defend themself. There was also not a whole lot a healer would be able to do about it except rub some herbal salve on the nastier bruises. But, rage was better than pity. Especially when it was directed at someone else for a change. …And what a change _that_ was.

Thor paced the room like a caged beast while the healer, a young woman with frizzy brown hair, examined Loki who was sitting on the edge of Thor's bed, with slightly trembling fingers. He didn't blame her for being nervous. Thor was completely unpredictable when he was like this. Loki thanked the norns for the small blessing that he had next to no concept of modesty left or else this certainly would have been a rather uncomfortable situation. Hell, for all he knew he might have already had a tryst with this healer before. It wouldn't surprise him; he'd slept with at least half of Asgard after all. Never mind mischief, Loki should have been the God of debauchery. Ah well, at least he had the blanket to wrap himself in. He was getting tired of all the poking and prodding, though. The pain was a dull ache – uncomfortable but not intolerable. He hardly needed all this fawning over.

"My prince?" The healer finally said, looking up at Thor warily. "Most of these scars are too old to do anything with and the newer injuries do not require any real treatment other than cleaning which Loki has already done. Surely he is in some measure of pain, but it should not be severe and they will heal with time."

"So there is nothing to worry about?" Thor huffed, staring the poor girl down. She was a small woman, but Loki had to give her some credit for holding her ground with Thor.

"No. Not physically anyway." She added and gave Loki a knowing glance. He looked away hoping Thor did not get the hint that she thought he might not be in a sound mental state. That was a can of worms he did not want to touch. "But he is underweight. They do not feed the prisoners much in the dungeons. Make sure he eats." She said and patted Loki on the shoulder like he was a dog that had been behaving himself well. He rolled his eyes as if that should have been obvious while the poor women made a beeline to the door and nearly ran away from Thor. Again, he couldn't blame her and almost wished he had some clothes and a little more energy so he could follow her.

"Loki-" Thor began and took a few steps toward his brother.

"Do not pity me." He hissed, voicing his fears.

"I know that will do little good. Pity does not suit you. But it will not stop me from introducing Mjolnir to the soon to be shattered skulls of the men that thought they had to right to do this to a prince of Asgard." He ranted, still pacing the length of his bedchamber. He had calmed down considerably though. The healer's prognosis had likely eased his mind somewhat. Loki smiled weakly. It was not altogether a bad image. He had already thought of a few things he'd like to have done to those men himself.

"I should like to see that, I think." He answered, coyly. Thor sighed and sat down on the bed beside Loki and threw his arm around his shoulders protectively. Any other time, Loki probably would have been offended by such a display of affection or at the least shrugged it off. But instead, weariness overcoming him, he leaned into Thor and closed his eyes for a moment.

"What made you change your mind?" Thor asked suddenly and squeezed Loki's shoulder lightly. Somewhat brokenly, Loki described the dream of being beaten by Thor in agonizing detail. They sat in silence for a moment until Thor got antsy.

"I would NEVER do such a thing!" He howled indignantly and glared sternly at Loki.

"I _know_ that!" Loki hissed and clung to him when he tried to get up to keep him from going back to his aimless pacing. The pacing was driving him crazy and not in a good way. "Why do you think I called for you? I knew that you would …protect me." Overcome with emotion, Thor pulled Loki close and swore a million and one senseless vows to never let anyone harm him again so long as he lived. As obnoxious and smothering as it was, the fallen God of mischief had to admit he found it comforting.

"I will always protect you." Thor assured him yet again and sat in the chair near Loki that he had dragged over for the healer.

"I thank you… Brother." _Brother._ The word felt strange, alien almost as it left his lips. Even Thor gave him an odd questioning glance. Loki couldn't even remember the last time he'd called Thor "brother" without sarcasm. …Normally he was denying it for all he was worth.

"What did you mean, when you said you love me as much as you hate me?" Thor questioned suddenly and fixed Loki with a gaze that made him want to squirm.

"I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone or anything. …But I love you just as much. I feel pathetic realizing it now, when I knew it all along but chose to deny it." Loki answered. _Which means I love you more than anything as well._ He added mentally and thought for a moment that if maybe he spent more time thinking about what _loved_ about Thor instead of trying to ruin him, that maybe – just maybe – he would have slowly stopped loathing him so much. And then, he realized that all the times he fought with Thor, all the scheming and all the betrayals, Loki never once contemplated actually killing Thor. …And he doubted he ever could and be able to live with what he had done.

"Then I am a lucky man, yes?" Thor said with a wink and ruffled Loki's hair which was thankfully no longer matted with filth. "Because if _you_ truly love me as much as you hate me then there cannot possibly anyone else in the universe who is so loved. Next thing you know, we will be getting married." Loki tried to gag but ended up laughing at Thor's idiotic comment. It was a true laugh, not hollow and bitter like earlier in the dungeons. Leave it to Thor to say something completely inappropriate, but utterly relevant. Well, aside from the bit about getting married. And for far from the first time in his life, Loki contemplated having Thor for a lover. …And quickly dashed the idea from his mind when he remembered how Thor had dumped him in his bed like a sack of potatoes. He preferred to be handled in a more… dignified manner.

"I suppose that mortal woman you are so fond would make a decent bridesmaid for you, yes?" Loki said snidely and gave Thor and equally suggestive wink. "Oh, we will have to pick out a dress. You looked so lovely that time we tried to pass you off as Freya. White isn't your color, though. I think we should go with red or something equally garish." Thor nearly fell off his chair giggling like a schoolgirl as he recalled that particular memory. Loki wondered for a moment that maybe Thor hated him as much as he loved him too. No one else would have gotten away with convincing Thor to dress in drag to swindle the frost giants out of a deal, and live to tell about it. How long had it been since they talked like this and made stupid jokes without being at each other's throats? Loki couldn't remember, and he didn't care either. He didn't want this moment to end. After the hell of being in the dungeons, Thor seemed more like a divine savior than a most likely slightly drunk and overly impulsive thunder God.

"Oh no little brother. You are wearing the dress. We both know you're the lady in this relationship." Thor retorted haughtily.

"Fine that just means I get to pick out the flowers." Loki said and stuck out his tongue. Both of them dissolved into a fit of hysterics and took several moments to compose themselves.

"In all honesty, I really must be _very_ loved." Thor said giving Loki a warm smile, his blue eyes shining with mirth.

"You _are_ very loved. By everyone." Loki replied rather enigmatically and somewhat sullenly.

"But it isn't everyone that matters to me." Thor said seriously and leaned closer to Loki so their faces were nearly touching. "You are the one that matters to me." Loki felt his heart skip a beat. He was caught somewhere between hoping Thor just might just shove him backwards into the bed and ravish him and how wrong that would be at the same time. They were _brothers._ …Wait, no they weren't. Not technically speaking. But either way, Thor was probably just being an ass and meant it in some kind of twisted brotherly love fashion. Well, Loki knew what he made of _that._ He wasn't the God of mischief for no good reason. …And it was high time for some mischief. Even if after just having been tortured, half-starved and filthy was by no means a good time for sex, Loki _needed_ it. Maybe it was just that it was the way his twisted mind worked, or it was that he thought he could find some kind of redemption in being with Thor. Either way, he had to try.

"I expect better treatment than being tossed into bed like a dead thing. You must handle me like a precious treasure. Understand, dear?" Before Thor could respond with whatever failed comeback he was plotting, Loki leaned forward and lightly pressed his lips against Thor's. He had to admit, he rather liked the way Thor's beard tickled him. …And he liked the way he returned the kiss in a possessive, almost bestial but still gentle manner even more. There was no fight for dominance, it was totally unnecessary. Loki submitted to Thor entirely as he pulled him deeper into the kiss and pressed their bodies tightly together. Loki's eyes fluttered shut as he felt warm, calloused hands slide under the blanket he'd wrapped himself in and trail effortlessly across his bare skin. Vaguely he wondered how Thor's touch could feel so soft and not rough at all, considering his personality. It wasn't until their lips parted and Loki gasped for breath that he realized he was lying in the middle of the bed with Thor straddling his hips. He hadn't even noticed that Thor moved him. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"How is that for proper handling, _princess_?" Thor inquired sarcastically and nibbled his lower lip softly.

"Not bad, my prince. I _can_ turn into a woman if you would prefer, you know." Loki replied in a husky whisper.

"No. I want you as you are now. Though I might take you up on that offer another time." Thor said and threw his cape and most of his clothes aside carelessly. Something about that simple statement threw Loki for a loop. Thor knew his true heritage and nature, and it seemed, accepted it. That, in itself, felt like a massive weight was lifted from his chest. "And yes, I have been with men before. No need to ask that." Thor breathed, pinning Loki tightly to the bed as he took him in another deep, searching kiss. Any further thoughts Loki might have had on that subject vanished as Thor took his length in his hand and coaxed it into full hardness. The friction of his calloused hands on the sensitive skin there was delicious and he couldn't help but make a quiet inarticulate sound of appreciation.

"I might _have_ to ask because clearly you – ah!" Loki gasped and arched himself up against Thor who purposely pinched one his nipples to silence his babbling. "I think I will… Stop talking." Loki breathed and wrapped his arms around Thor who finally managed to get out of the rest of his clothes and settled himself between Loki's legs. Loki glanced passively at Thor's assets. It wasn't an unfamiliar sight having grown up together, but damn if he wasn't one of the most well-endowed men he'd ever seen.

"Good idea. But, promise me something, Loki." Thor said sternly and tilted Loki's chin up so that their eyes met. "I am _not_ going to be another plaything and swear to me you will not regret this, or make me regret it. If you do, well, the dungeons will be the least of your worries."

"You have my word on all counts." The trickster replied and reached up to caress Thor's beard lightly. "No _other_ playthings either. If I can have you it'll be the only thing I need. I won't regret this, Thor.  I _need_ this." The scary part was that he meant it. Every. Single. Word. The softness in Thor's expression told him that he understood the gravity of what Loki had admitted. Without another word, he pressed his erection against Loki's which earned him a soft moan. Loki had to admit, he rather _liked_ the fact that he had him completely pinned to the bed and he couldn't move if he tried. And he almost complained when Thor shifted his position so he could reach the nightstand beside the bed.

"I told you once that I thought you were incapable of Sincerity. I was wrong." Thor said in a breathy whisper as he reached over and rifled through the small drawer, looking for oil assumedly. "I can see that now."

"Show me that there is a difference between making love and just having sex and I might be inclined to forgiving you." Loki replied, feigning indignation. Truthfully, he had completely forgotten about that conversation. But Thor had been right then. At that time, as they spoke idly while they waited for the moment to arrive when Thor was meant to become the king of Asgard, Loki had not been capable of sincerity. …Though he _had_ meant it when he told Thor that he loved him, even if he didn't understand it at the time.

"Stop that and turn over." Thor ordered playfully and pinched Loki's cheek. Loki swatted his hand away and glared at him.

"Oh no. I want to see your face during this. I want to see the lust in your eyes when you come screaming my name." Loki purred seductively and trailed his fingers across Thor's muscled stomach. He shivered in anticipation. "But really? Is this how you treat your women, hmm? You haven't even properly ravished me yet. I'm a princess remember. Princesses like to be fawned over and worshiped like goddesses." Loki was rather proud he managed to form such a coherent statement. It had far too long since he had been with anyone at all and his body was burning with need. Sure, he wanted Thor to just have his way with him but he did not want to rush through their first (and hopefully not last) time together. He needed this to be special. He needed it to _mean_ something.

"No one said I was done yet. And stop talking or I _will_ turn you over and gag you with something. Fine, ravishing it is, brother." Thor replied in a husky whisper and took Loki's lips in a fierce, impassioned kiss before he could respond. And he didn't know why, but the the way that Thor said "brother" with just a touch of defiance sent a spiral of heat straight to Loki's groin. As soon as he felt Thor's hands exploring his body, Loki knew no form of gagging would be necessary because he highly doubted his ability to speak under such ministrations. He gasped, involuntarily breaking the kiss when Thor caressed his back, but pressed a little too hard on a bruised spot. Loki said nothing, though. The contrast of pain and pleasure was something he enjoyed thoroughly. His mind lingered for a moment on the thought of whether or not Thor _would_ give him a good beating if he asked for it. But that and any other thoughts scattered as his body turned to putty in Thor's very capable hands. He cried out, mewling like a cat as Thor flicked his tongue over a nipple and sucked it softly, his beard tickling the skin surrounding it. At the same time, he cupped Loki's hardened length ever so gently in one of his hands. This was torture. A sweet, wonderful torture but torture all the same. And Loki loved every blissful second of it. He wrapped his arms around Thor possessively as he sucked at a spot near Loki's collar bone, their bodies pressed hotly against each other. He ran his fingers through Loki's still slightly damp hair and nibbled at his earlobe which caused him to cry out and squirm beneath him. Or, he would have squirmed had the weight of Thor's body against his not held him firmly in place. It was incredible how Thor either was just really good at this, or somehow knew every sensitive spot on Loki's body. Before long, Loki was begging Thor to take him without the slightest amount of control of the desperate pleas the escaped him. Thor, obviously at the end of his patience, thought it was the perfect to indulge in just that.

He took Loki's throbbing member in his mouth, swallowing it whole. The God of mischief beneath him moaned exquisitely and would have arched his hips up to meet him had Thor not held his thighs firmly in a grip that bordered on being painful. Loki's breath came in frantic gasps with the occasional quiet plea or whimper as he fought to control himself as Thor devoured him, fondling the soft sacks below in his hand as he did. Loki hardly even noticed as Thor prodded a finger at his entrance as he was so well distracted. But as he inserted a second, and then a third he became acutely aware of the slight discomfort that created a perfect contrast with the pleasure. Loki cried in protest as Thor pulled away, the heat of his mouth leaving him.

"Oh did you want more?" Thor teased and licked his lips. Unable to form proper words, Loki just whimpered and looked at him pitifully. Thor gave him a cocky grin and licked just the tip, lingering slightly on the slit as a drop of silvery liquid dropped onto his tongue, their eyes never breaking contact. Loki whined piteously and threw his head back against the pillows and dug his fingers into the bed sheets. Thor chuckled quietly, he must have been in his glory seeing the trickster in such a state. Where Thor learned this, Loki couldn't even begin to guess. But right then, he couldn't have cared less either. "Enough playing around then. Lift your legs, princess." Thor said in a throaty voice that was heavy with restrained lust. Loki sighed and did as he was told, not an ounce of defiance left in him. He was _never_ going to admit it, but damn did he like it when Thor called him princess.

Loki tried for a moment to say something snarky, but no words came, only a sharp gasp and a loud moan as Thor positioned his body and thrust himself to the hilt inside of Loki in one fluid motion. It _hurt._ But it was a pain that was wonderful, beautiful and _right._ In the few seconds that Thor gave him to adjust, Loki struggled to even his breathing, he was almost certain his heart had stopped. And then he moved, slowly at first but the pace increased steadily. And Loki lost himself in the sensation as the pain ebbed away to be replaced with an all-consuming bliss as he began to move in unison with Thor. Nothing else existed in that moment, just the two of them – the only sound to be heard was their ragged breathing and the soft slapping noise of their bodies moving against each other in perfect rhythm.

"Thor." Loki mumbled as he felt the edge approaching fast. Their eyes met, both clouded over in passion. "Say my name." He breathed, digging his nails into Thor's back not breaking the eye contact.

"Loki." The God of thunder replied in a shockingly even tone and gave him a devilish smile, the pace of his thrusts gaining slightly in force.

"Say it. Say my name!" Loki pleaded, barely forming the words as Thor reached between them and stroked his neglected length.

"Loki." Thor repeated, this time with a hint of unsteadiness. Thor was almost at his limit, Loki could tell. But so was he. His eyes were shut tight as he lost himself in the heat of Loki's body surrounding him.

"Look into my eyes." Loki begged. Thor obeyed, his breath coming in sharp, strained gasps as he fought to drag it out as long as he could. "SAY MY NAME!" Loki shouted, staring deeply into the sapphire pools of Thor's eyes.

"LOKI!" Thor screamed as the world crashed into a million broken pieces and both of them reached their climax at the same time in a moment of perfect harmony. Loki whimpered brokenly, tears welling in the corners of his eyes as Thor's essence filled him and he collapsed on top of him, panting and whispering Loki's name repeatedly. For a moment they lay like that, waiting for reality to slowly return.

"…Forgive you." Loki finally managed to say, his fingers tangled in Thor's hair. Thor only grunted in reply and held Loki's free hand tightly in his in a gesture of comfort that Loki happily accepted. He sighed and closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of Thor surrounding him and still inside of him. It was some time before Thor finally moved and carefully withdrew himself. Noticing the tear stains on Loki's face he cupped his cheeks in his hands kissed his forehead as gently as he could. Loki's eyelids fluttered open and he smiled ever so slightly. But it was a real smile, not at all like the one he hid behind so often. Thor at least had the sense to make an attempt at cleaning the warm, sticky mess from Loki's stomach before they helplessly fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**One Year Later:**

"Are you awake?" Loki mumbled a string of curses indignantly and rolled over so that his back was to Thor. They had been sleeping together since that first night that Thor had rescued Loki from the dungeons. Loki could not tolerate sleeping alone. Like some kind of demon whose sole purpose it was to remind Loki to behave himself, the nightmare of being beaten half to death by Thor resurfaced every time he tried to sleep alone. He gave in pretty quickly, though. Waking up wrapped up in Thor's arms was far from unpleasant. Unless Thor wanted to be awake at the crack of dawn.

"Too early." Loki hissed when Thor lightly prodded his shoulder with his index finger. They had fallen into an easy, comfortable relationship – as if they had been together all along. Granted, Odin had been furious when Thor told him of his plans to let Loki rule alongside him – and even more furious when he told him that was... involved with Loki. But it was Thor's choice, and Thor usually got his way. …In all things. "Stop that." Loki said in mock irritation and swatted Thor's hand away from his hair. He had been petting Loki's head like he were some kind of pet cat. But Loki was kind of like a pet cat. He was aloof, haughty and rarely came when called.

"It's not too early to remind you that I love you." Thor whispered in Loki's ear, which made him shiver. "Or too early for other things."

"Hnng… No." Loki mumbled. "Later."

"Fine." Thor said in irritation. "I'm holding you to that, princess." Loki smiled in triumph, later was better. Preferably _after_ he spent the better part of his day playing with orphans or helping some church organize a fundraiser. Blearily he opened his eyes and looked out the window next to the bed. Even at this early hour, cars were rushing busily along the street below them. Manhattan, it seemed, never slept. And making amends for trying enslave the human race and killing hundreds of them was by no means easy. But he wasn't alone. Thor had come with him, and was helping him every step of the way. Even SHIELD and the Avengers supported him and often gave him things to do – almost as though he were becoming a part of their merry little band of misfits. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Either way, it was a new day, and with each new day comes new opportunities. Or new bondage techniques. Thor refused to cause Loki any pain, but he did find that he really enjoyed tying him up…


End file.
